Beetroot ...

... is the colour I turn when I do school events. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. I did once give a talk in an unheated castle with the audience in winter coats and mitts and scarves and me in a blouse - for that one I think I did actually retain a recognizably human skin tone. But in every other venue, be it library, classroom, bookshop or tent, meltdown occurs. It seems a shame I can't tap into this ability at will - on slow writing days I could, Iceland-fashion, heat a small village or an outdoor swimming pool or two.

I wish it were otherwise. But at least the day has not yet come when some small child in the audience pipes up with "Why has that lady gone all red?" I guess I should be grateful for that much. However, as I have a pretty full schedule of school, library, bookshop and festival events over the next few weeks, I would just like to apologize in advance if global warming suddenly increases significantly ...

Cheers, Joan (Flameface of Fife)