Joan Lennon's Blog

While I'm Away - One

2012-02-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

Instead of ghastly tinny musack as a holding pattern, here's a photo of Orkney from this time last year. Now that's soothing.

Cheers, Joan.

Alternate 26 Poems Revealed

2012-01-27T09:34:00.000-08:00

"Groovy!" "Shocking!" "Mesmerizing!" "Bless me!" say the critics as the poems of the Alternate 26 go online ...

Here's the link.

See? Didn't I tell you? Wonderful!

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. I'm about to head off on my semi-annual migration to hang out with my old mum in Canada, but I've scheduled some soothing place holders for your weekly delectation while I'm gone ... Breathe deep and enjoy.

From "a" to "my" in an afternoon

2012-01-22T02:55:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you about yesterday!

The 26 Treasures project has been part of the on-going celebration of the re-opening of the National Museum of Scotland, and yesterday was the day of The Alternate 26 writing workshop. The day we threw the 26 Treasures idea open to the public. The format was the same - each participant was randomly assigned an object to respond to, with a limit of 62 words to do it in. And the results were wonderful. I know, that's a pretty weak word, but I've sat here for ages trying to think up a way of describing pieces of writing as various as these were, as individual, as satisfying to hear, as fulfilling to be part of the process of (grammar aside) ... For now you'll just have to believe me, but sometime in the next week or so the pieces will be going up on the NMS website, and you can see for yourself.

One thing all the pieces had in common - besides wonderfullness - was the way each showed the writer grappling their object to them with hoops of steel (with the Bard's forgiveness). It was an exercise in moving from "This is an object" to "This is my object" - and I will never see the things written about in the same way again - or without connecting them to their writers. Many thanks to everyone who took part!

I've embedded the NMS video about the opening day last summer below, partly for your viewing pleasure, in case you hadn't seen it, partly because I wanted to show off that I know how to embed now, and partly because of the lad who said "I remember coming here when I was young ... that was 4 years ago ..."

The opening of the National Museum of Scotland from National Museums Scotland on Vimeo.

Unbound and 26 Treasures The Book!

2012-01-14T01:24:00.000-08:00

Unbound - what a great idea! And now it's the home of

26 Treasures - The Book!

Have a look - see what you think - and if you'd like a way of having all the amazing 26 Treasures projects up and down the country (which I've been blithering about here and here and here ...) in a permanent form you can hold in your hand ... subscribe! We have 47 more days to get up to that magic 100% subscription level, and then the book can go ahead.

Huzzah for the voice of the people - if you feel the urge, please give it a shout!

Cheers, Joan.

The Monster*, the Lichen and the Lad

2012-01-07T02:09:00.000-08:00

New year! New camera! Many new buttons to grapple with!

I seem to be starting 2012 about a week later than everybody else, given that I haven't really started it at all yet. But any time now, the clitter-clatter of keys will resound once more in the house of creativity ... any time now ...

(Oh, and hey - this blog has made it to page 1 of the Wikio Top UK Blogs Literature list and page 2 (just) of the Culture list! Go Readers! Thank you very much!)

Cheers, and a Happy New Year, Joan.

* The Calvin and Hobbes fans among you may recognise a tribute here to Calvin's snow masterpiece "The torment of existence weighed against the horror of non-being". The rest of you may just think I haven't quite mastered the camera yet. Both would be true.

Happy Christmas Eve! And have a story on me ...

2011-12-24T03:50:00.000-08:00

First there were (or is it was?) 26 Treasures - whoopee! - and then there was (or is it were?) 26 Stories of Christmas - hurrah!

Here's how the Christmas story project worked:

"26 writers chose an object that means Christmas to them and wrote 26 words about it. Those objects and words found new homes, as we paired each writer with another writer's object. Each writer then came up with a 500-word piece of family fiction inspired by their new object - the sort of story you might share after Christmas dinner. These stories then inspired 26 illustrators, who had just two weeks to respond to a piece of fiction they'd never seen before."

I was all agog to see a) what a writer and illustrator would do with my object and b) what an illustrator would do with my story!

I loved both a)

and

b)!

We're off Loch Rannoch way for over New Year's so I'll not be posting next week. In the meantime, here's a photo from last year, showing a typical Scottish greeting to the new year, just before we paint passers-by with the woad of good fortune and toss generic tartan cabers thither and yon, for good health. Wishing you lots of both!

Cheers, Joan.

Huzzah for Humanity!

2011-12-17T03:19:00.000-08:00

Two very different reasons to rejoice that we aren't - in spite of the attractions - tiny, handless, irresponsible, un-guilt-ridden amoeba:

HERE

and

HERE.
(scroll down to the video)

Cheers! Joan.

P.S. Sorry not to have embedded these properly, but my tech assistant is off to a party!

Urban Leopard

2011-12-11T02:30:00.000-08:00

This week I've been thinking about a leopard. Not my favourite of the big cats, but nevertheless there's been one lurking round the edges of my mind, peripheral but persistent, refusing (in the way of cats) to coalesce into anything like a useful metaphor. A ghost leopard. Is it there because I visited the zoo? Not so much - it was there before that, and I was mostly hugging the warmer enclosures, like the aviary and the tiny monkeys, not quite managing to take photos in focus. (I need a new camera. Well, I want a new camera.) No, this isn't a zoo leopard. It's an urban leopard.

I spent a few days in Edinburgh this week - an escape in the opposite direction for me, since I normally head for heath and hills sort of thing when life gets too much, somewhere where I can slow down and fall into whatever it is I'm needing to write. But this time it was the things I was needing to write that I needed to escape from, and the city seemed perfect. Hustle, art galleries, museums, shops and bustle. Sitting in coffee shops reading. Not writing.

It was wonderful! Thank you Edinburgh.

And now, if I could just figure out what I'm supposed to do with this leopard ...

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. December's Wikio Top Blogs Ranking (which now seems to be calling itself Ebuzzing, for reasons unknown to me) has come out - thank you again for all your visits to this blog which have bumped me up 10 places to 46 in the Culture category and 3 places to 22 in Literature. I don't pretend to understand how it works, but it certainly produces a warm fuzzy feeling in this writer's toes.

26 Treasures Launch Day

2011-12-04T03:40:00.000-08:00

It was a great day!

It opened with a long Scots poem by Aimee Chalmers accompanied by an astonishing saxophonist named Richard Ingram. Then through the course of the afternoon each of the 26 of us spoke about the experience of coming to terms with our object, and read what we'd written. Like the objects themselves, the range of 62-word pieces was fascinatingly wide. The audiences for each session were appreciative and in between I did some shameless hustling for the Alternative 26 workshop on 21 January!

And afterwards, when we had the chance to talk together, it was interesting how many of us were saying, "This is great - when can we do it again?!" Definitely addictive, this 26 Treasuring!

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. On another note, I've put a post up on Girls Heart Books titled We Are Not Alone! - come see me there!

More 26 Treasures

2011-11-30T06:15:00.000-08:00

Huzzah! We're live!

Here is the page where, at last, all of the 26 Treasures are revealed ...

Here is your chance to write a piece yourself and win a Kindle (even if you can't come to the Alternative 26 which you can find out about on the Events page ...)

And here is my piece on my lovely drag chains ...

Looking forward to Saturday, though in my usual quandary on what to wear - till then, a happy St Andrew's Day to you all, whether your blood flows tartan or not.

Cheers, Joan.

26 Treasures - In Instalments

2011-11-28T01:29:00.000-08:00

I was a bit premature with saying we were online today ... part of the project is online today. So, if you are within striking distance of Edinburgh this Saturday 3rd December, have a look at our launch, and other events to come, here.

And the minute the individual pieces are up on the Museum website I will be letting you know. This is a great project - the problem will be to get me to shut up about it! I am the cheer-leader for drag chains everywhere, and that's not a sentence you get to say all that often.

(And to make sense of that, visit my blog on the subject here!)

archy and me

2011-11-26T05:34:00.000-08:00

Before his soul transmigrated into the body of a cockroach, archy was a vers libre poet. Sometimes this gets him down. As he says,

well boss from time
to time i just simply
get bored with having
to be a cockroach my
soul my real ego if
you get what i mean is
tired of being shut
up in an insects body the
best you can say for it is that it
is unusual and you could
say as much for mumps

Because he is a cockroach he is only able to write by diving headfirst onto each letter of the typewriter in turn. (And of course he is unable to work the shift key at the same time, which explains the absence of capitals.) He has things to say, but oh my, it's slow for him to say them!

Even though I have the use of all my fingers and can insert caPitaLs without a care, I too have been feeling that this job of ours can be very ... very ... slow. And hard on the head. Every word I write seems to have travelled a long way and is worn out before it gets here. I have editing deadlines to meet, so giving it all a miss for a while isn't an option, but there is another character in Don Marquis' world - Mehitabel the cat - and maybe I could learn some things from her. Her motto is it s cheerio my deario that pulls a lady through ...

i wake the world from sleep
as i caper and sing and leap
when i sing my wild free tune
wotthehell wotthehell
under the blear eyed moon
i am pelted with cast off shoon
but wotthehell wotthehell ...

there s a dance in the old dame yet
toujours gai toujours gai

Cheers, Joan. (or perhaps i should say cheerio joan)

P.S. On Monday I'll be blogging about the 26 Treasures project. There was a 2-page spread about it yesterday in The Scotsman newspaper, but if you missed that, we're just about to go live - online and in the real world too. Come by and I'll tell all!

Bravely Gone

2011-11-21T03:13:00.000-08:00

Now that was stupid. Why did I say I'd write a report on the 360 Narratives Open Weekend right after getting home from it? If I could find an image (uncopyrighted) on the web that showed Advanced Brain Blur, I could just put that up - perfect!

Did I enjoy the weekend? Yes! I met a whole new mess of people doing stuff with words that is different to/from the stuff I do. The exercises were fun and exhilarating and did an excellent job of showing/reminding us of the strengths of collaboration AND constraints. I DID "enjoy inspirational conversations with peers and writers who have had experience and successes across genres", just like it said on the tin. I learned a lot. It was, in equal parts, invigorating and knackering. (Having never speed-dated 40 people in a single afternoon before, I was unprepared for just HOW knackering! Blimey.)

An assiduous photographer was on hand and I look forward to seeing his work on the 360 Facebook page in due course - his pictures will give you an idea of some of the faces and scenes from the weekend.

It's too soon for me to sort out my thoughts sensibly yet and see what the next step needs to be, but watch this space!

I have a post over on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure today which I'd love you to visit.

Cheers, Joan.

Bravely Going - 360 Narratives Open Weekend

2011-11-18T11:13:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 360 Narratives, a safe haven for professional writers to explore other forms of writing. Be challenged, collaborate and create new ideas and projects with your peers.

Working in teams, writers and narrative creators from different fields will collaborate to create story worlds that can be exploited across a variety of media ...

Participants will enjoy inspirational conversations with peers and writers who have had experience and successes across genres; advice on intellectual property and how to exploit it; and exercises and workshops to get them mingling across art forms.

That's going to be me, this weekend - enjoying, mingling, collaborating and being challenged till my socks explode ... The organisers were careful to put in the word safe for those of us who feel a little nervous. And haven - that's also a reassuring word, right? I'll cling to that, and plunge on in!

If you want to learn more about the folk who are running the weekend, have a look here. And if you want to find out how I fared, I'll do my best to report in some sort of coherent fashion on Monday ...

Till then, cheers, Joan.

Growing Reviews

2011-11-11T12:39:00.000-08:00

Slightly Jones is starting to collect reviews! Her first two adventures are up for two different book awards, both voted on - and reviewed - by children. The Case of the London Dragonfish is shortlisted for the Scottish Children's Book Award. The votes won't all be counted until February but you can see what some of the voters are thinking on the Scottish Book Trust reviews page.

And The Case of the Glasgow Ghoul is one of the books shortlisted for the Lancashire Fantastic Book Awards. The reviews for the Reading Group it's in can be found here.

Thanks to all the readers and reviewers - keep 'em coming! And to anybody who was thinking it might be fun to take part in either of these awards - go on! Give it a go!

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. And to everybody I met at the Northern Children's Book Festival this week, a big wave, a very loud HELLO! and an enormous THANK YOU!!

Gurning* for the BBC

2011-11-05T02:31:00.000-07:00

It is not news that I can sometimes have a less than firm grip on reality. For example, I have been known to refer to my books as documentaries. I have written elsewhere on the Bottom Syndrome - the conviction that no matter what the brief, I CAN DO IT! And I have a deep and vivid belief that I am 6 foot tall and of a willowy persuasion.

It seems a long time ago now, but way back in August, I was interviewed by 3 pupils from Liberton Primary School, at the Edinburgh Book Festival. The BBC Audio L.A.B. had organised a series of these interviews where pupils were paired up with children’s writers doing events at the Festival. They learned things about how to conduct an interview, how to handle a mic – not as easy as you might think! – how to speak clearly and with a smile.

Here it is: Audio L.A.B

I have no idea who the dumpy gurning type is in the photos, but that's definitely me talking. My interviewers were delightful - and, interestingly, looked exactly the way they do in the photos! How strange is that ...

Cheers, Joan.

* This is what Wikipedia has to say about this quite odd sport:

"Gurning contests are a rural English tradition. By far the most notable is that held annually at the Egremont Crab Fair, which dates back to 1267 when King Henry III granted the fair a Royal Charter.The origins of the gurning competition itself are unclear, and may not be so old, although it was described as an ancient tradition by local newspaper the Cumberland Paquet in 1852.

The competitions are held regularly in some villages, with contestants traditionally framing their faces through a horse collar— known as "gurnin' through a braffin'."The World Gurning Championship takes place annually at the same crab fair in Egremont, Cumbria. Those with the greatest gurn capabilities are often those with no teeth, as this provides greater room to move the jaw further up. In some cases, the elderly or otherwise toothless can be capable of spectacular gurns covering the entire nose."

So now you know.

The Islay Writing Circle - A Day of Words

2011-10-31T02:20:00.001-07:00

It's an interesting dilemma you face when you're leading a writing workshop - do you do the exercises (I've been told not to call them challenges!) yourself, at the same time as everybody else, or do you keep yourself available, drifting gently about, ready to leap in if anyone gets stuck? I've tended to be a bit of a drifter in the past, but the Islay Writing Circle is a group I know, and after the initial "You want us to do WHAT?!" I knew they would get well stuck in.

I was not disappointed! It was an excellent day of words. I had asked them to try to take a step sideways from the usual ways they wrote - try a different gender, a different form, a different way of looking - and they stepped with a vengeance. The quality of the writing on the spot was high, and I have hopes that the exercises will feed into the writing that will come after.

Great stuff, Islay Writing Circle, and thank you Mavis for organising and hosting the day, and Live Literature Scotland for their financial support!

Cheers, Joan.

Port an Eas 2

2011-10-30T01:15:00.000-07:00

You've seen the photos - you know there was motion everywhere. Well, not so much with the lichen, but otherwise in Port an Eas that day, things were on the move - great sails of clouds, the ocean all swells and troughs and pushing up onto the shingle, drag and push, drag and push, and the kelp moving under it at a different rhythm, lifing heavy heads out of the waves and disappearing again, wearied by the effort - behind, the tall waterfall that pulsed and was caught by the wind - and always at the edge of sight, the scattered dashes of shore pipits in amongst the rocks.

But this was different.

This was a sudden sleek black arc in the water, as brief as any other motion in the bay, but so much more definite. So entirely itself and nothing else. An arc ... a pause and then a little further along, it surfaced again and I caught a glimpse of back and tail ... another pause and there it was - the otter's head, whiskers stiff and busy, eyes intent on other things than gob-smacked humans on the shore. And then it was gone. That was it. Three heart-beat length sightings of otter in ocean.

This wasn't what I was on Islay for - and tomorrow I'll tell you about that - but, well, as the bard said, Phew! Cor Blimey! Wow!

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. Don't worry - I'm not planning on blogging 17 times a second as a regular sort of thing - it's just that this trip seems to be dividing itself this way, and who am I are to argue with my material?

Port an Eas, Islay

2011-10-29T05:53:00.000-07:00

Port an Eas - Port of the Waterfall - enough beauty to fill up the wrung-out sponge of the soul all by itself AND THEN I SAW ...

Come back tomorrow and I'll tell you!

Bare Bones Blog

2011-10-23T05:51:00.000-07:00

Photo: Freeman Patterson

Quote: "The camera always looks both ways."

Cheers, Joan.

(Apologies for the sparseness. I'm in the grip of one of those lost weekends, courtesy of migraine, where you long for the light at the end of the tunnel to be, in fact, an oncoming train. Reason tells me it can't last forever.)

A Date with Destino

2011-10-15T06:10:00.000-07:00

It's always fascinating how DIFFERENT the covers for a book can be in different countries! Here's the Spanish translation of Questors - I haven't got a copy yet but as soon as I do I'll be inflicting extracts on passers-by in my best Spanish accent (which is quite a threat, really).

I'm posting over on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure today - come dance with me there!

Cheers, Joan.

As Promised, Manners for Women

2011-10-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

The 1890s was a time of exciting and often confusing change, particularly for young women.

"The happy girls of the century-end have not such good reason for wishing to be boys as their mothers, and, more still, their grandmothers, had in their young days."

For one thing, the modern girl has escaped "The tyrannous needle [that]swallowed up their youth ... fancy-work plays no part whatever in her cheery, breezy, young existence. Very often she ignores even the needle of ordinary life, and her thimble knows her so little that it will not come when it is called. It has been left in waste places."

And, for another, "thank goodness, the piano is going out of fashion for girls in the best circles ... to the great easement of humanity."

But that doesn't mean it was all plain sailing, just a walk in the park - a lark - a laugh ...

In fact, Mrs Humphry sets aside 7 pages for this very subject: Chapter 4 - Learning to Laugh, since these breezy modern girls just don't know how to do it nicely. At the theatre, for example

"For every one whose laughter is melodious, there will be found a dozen who merely grin and half-a-dozen whose sole relief is in physical contortion. Some of the latter bend forward, folding themselves almost double, then spring back again, and repeat this jerky and ridiculous movement afresh at every joke. Others throw their heads back in a way that disagreeably suggests dislocation. ... Cachinnations in every key resound on all sides ... Cackling suggestive of the farmyard, and snorts not unreminiscent of pig-styes, produce variety. As to the grins, very few of them can be, in the remotest sense of the word, described as pleasing ... the exhibition of whole meadows of pale pink gum is inconsonant with one's ideas of beauty."

(And if all that doesn't make you so self-conscious you might never laugh again, then nothing will.)

So many things to avoid, from unfortunate centre-pieces ("I never like to see slippers as flower vases on the dinner-table.") to inappropriate weeping ("Crying is no longer fashionable. It has followed fainting into the moonlight land of half-forgotten things.") to bicycling on the wrong side of the road ("... thousands of bicyclists belong to a class which is ignorant of the charms of horse exercise, and they may be unaware that the rule of the road is exactly the opposite to that which guides pedestrians on the footpath.")

And yet there is so much to be glad of too, and, at the end of the day, "Can anything in the world be nicer than a really nice girl?"

Well, no, it can't. Now where's my thimble ...

Manners for Men

2011-10-01T01:33:00.000-07:00

In the third Slightly Jones Mystery - The Case of the Cambridge Mummy (due out March 2012) poor Matthew Bone gets taken in hand by Miss Sally Forth to be taught manners. So I needed to learn some first. I went looking for Victorian etiquette books and found ...

... Mrs Humphry.

I love Mrs Humphry. When I first got my hands on Manners for Men I kept sitting down to read it, and then leaping up to find some boy to read it to!

"Listen to this!" I kept yelping.

"At the breakfast table unkempt hair, untended finger-nails, and a far from immaculate collar are occasionally to be seen ... the ill-bred young man may be traced from room to room by the litter of newspapers and magazines he leaves behind him ... In this young man's own room there is chaos. The maids have endless trouble in clearing up after him ... His handkerchiefs, his socks, and collars are lying about in every corner of the room. He is too indolent even to put his boots outside the door at night that they may be cleaned in the morning. To save himself trouble he bangs all the doors instead of gently latching them."

Tell me about it, Madge.

But she is sincere in her desire to help these young hooligans and sympathises with their awkwardness and fears. Take dinner parties, for example:

"To converse with a perfect stranger is always one of the initial social accomplishments to be learned, and it is not at all an easy thing at first. It needs practice. Ninety men out of every hundred offer a remark upon the weather; but unless there had been something very extraordinary going on in the meterological line, it is better to avoice this subject if possible ..."

But what then?

"I have known a good beginning made with some such remark as, "Do you know everybody here?" This leads perhaps to the acquisition of some information as to the other guests ... The floral decorations often lead up to conversation. The colours of the flowers remind one of pictures, and the lady on one's right may be asked if she has been to any exhibitions that may be open. If so, what pictures she liked best. Does she paint? Has she read the novel of the hour? What does she think of it? Does she bike? At this rate our novice gets on swimmingly, and may safely be left to himself."

She is also happy to answer more specific questions on how to proceed:

"A young man once asked me if it would be etiquette to offer an unknown lady an umbrella in the street, supposed she stood in need of one. I replied, 'No lady would accept the offer from a stranger, and the other sort of person might never return the umbrella.'"

Sometimes it is enough to gently point out an area of weakness:

"It requires some expertness and practice for a man with a moustache to take soup in a perfectly inoffensive manner. The accomplishment is worth some trouble."

Mrs Humphry may have the knowledge, but she makes clear that there is more to becoming a gentleman than just reading the book:

"If manners are not practised at home, but are allowed to lie by until occasion calls upon their wearer to assume them, they are sure to be a bad fit when donned."

You can't argue with that.

And rest assured that Mrs Humphry did not leave the ladies to wander without assistance in the minefield of late Victorian etiquette. Next week, Manners for Women! See you then.

Victor Boogie ...

2011-09-24T06:27:00.000-07:00

... is what my kids used to call him when they were small. By whatever name, he's the man. Enjoy!

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

2011-09-18T04:30:00.000-07:00

If I learned anything (and indeed I learned a lot) from yesterday's Society of Authors conference - Information and Inspiration: Everything a Writer Needs - it is that there isn't any single answer, any single way forward. Skilled, imaginative, innovative juggling is what is called for - or perhaps something a little like this ...

Yes. That's my model. What's yours?

P.S. Group Blogs Are Good - one of the messages of the conference. Find me on Girls Heart Books!
P.P.S. Telling About All Events - another thing we're supposed to do. So ...
I had a story (Dissidents and Distilleries) read aloud at the White Rabbit "Are You Sitting Comfortably?" event at the Byre Theatre, St Andrews - fabulous!
I did an author visit at Uphall Primary School - 97 delightful kids and 3 fab teachers - outstanding!
I'm going to be away over next weekend, so I'm setting up another delight for you in my absence - enjoy!

Slightly - Short and Listed!

2011-09-10T06:20:00.000-07:00

Slightly Jones - The Case of the London Dragonfish

has been shortlisted for the Younger Readers (8-11) category of
the 2011 Scottish Children's Book Awards!

Me, extremely pleased.

You can find out more about the Scottish Children's Book Awards here, on the Scottish Book Trust site.

Thanks to Kathryn Ross for the photo.

P.S. Getting short-listed is surely something to dance about - for a demonstration go to Just Watch on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure

"Verbing the Noun"

2011-09-03T01:18:00.000-07:00

I do not often find myself in the Sports Section of any newspaper. I watch sport. Well, some sport. Well, Wimbledon. And the Olympics. And when I was little I watched snooker on our black and white TV (yeah - challenging) but that was because I liked to hang out with my dad. So, not really sporty, as such.

But then, in a morning search for Doonesbury and the crossword puzzle, I stumbled across Harry Pearson's article "Let's legacy by verbing the noun" (The Guardian, Friday 2 Sept. 2011) -

"It has been all bubbing exuberance at the World Athletics Championships in Daegu. Records have been broken, races have been dedicated, dreams have been dreamed, starts have been falsed and nouns have been verbed ... Track and field leads the world in the important business of converting lumpy, dull old 'naming words' into dynamic and vibrant 'doing words' ... Vocab-wise, medalling and PB-ing are now totally part-and-parcelled, and most experts in South Korea believe podiumed, finalled and all-comered are not far off lexiconing.

Despite the pedants' protests, many elite-performance directors feel even more needs to be done linguistically if Team GB are to potential in 2012. Some have even called on David Cameron to initiative as soon as possible to get noun-emissions three-quartered in the next six months."

Instead of watching sport with the sound turned down, it would appear that a fun option might be to listen to it with the picture turned off. (I may have just invented radio ...) I can almost imaginate it now - a whole new family pastime - "Whoa - did you hear that? Unbelievable! The ref must be deaf! Penalty! Penalty!"

Or maybe not.

The Lizard and the Lion

2011-08-27T03:36:00.000-07:00

One of those strange weeks.

There have been a lot of blogs lately about the Edinburgh International Book Festival, and with good reason. It's a festival within a festival, in a city that goes ever so slightly bonkers every August. Charlotte Square, where the book events are held, has a special feeling to it, a particular excitement/flavour/buzz. The yurt, the food, the famous faces, the oft-times frantic networking ... I'm always really chuffed to get to be a part of it all. (This year I did an Amnesty reading, an Outreach event, and a Schools Programme event - the last two were Slightly Jones Mysteries talks, including a sneak preview snippet from the upcoming Case of the Cambridge Mummy). It's a) fun b) exhilarating c) anxiety-inducing d) exhausting ... It's the Jesus Lizard side of being a writer. The beast may be running for its life in that photo, but you can't tell me the bubbles aren't pretty!

Part way through, I took time out and went along Princes Street, through the crowds of gawkers and Fringe event hawkers and die-hard shoppers, to the Durer exhibition at the Scottish National Gallery, mainly to see this:

I've blogged over on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure about it and now I was in a dimly-lit room with the original (okay, it's an etching, so it's not the original, but it was a lot more original than my long-owned, well-loved postcard version). People didn't hang around - and not that many people had found the exhibit anyway - so I had the saint and the lion pretty much to myself. It was exquisite. I kept fogging up the glass trying to get as close as possible. See every detail. I wasn't thinking about anything except IT. The thing itself. But afterwards I realised it was a reminder and a help as well. This is the other bit about being a writer. The essential bit. Solitude and focus. Concentration and contentment. Stillness.

Here's to having them both - the lizard and the lion - and an infusion of art from time to time to help keep the balance.

Cheers, Joan.

Moments of Recognition

2011-08-21T01:28:00.000-07:00

Below is a quote from Imogen Robertson's blog on The History Girls which I like so much I've imported it here for you:

"Sometimes strange things happen when you write. Of course, when we are plotting and reasearching we are in a certain frame of mind which, perhaps, makes it more likely we will see and take notice of coincidences. We are gathering as much information as we can, and looking for the links between the pieces, the joins; we’re trying to find or invent lines that will hold all the parts together and create a story. I think when you are in that state of creative investigation your mind spots patterns it might normally miss."

It's true. The patterns are there, all the time. When you see them, it's a moment of recognition - but of course! - a rightness ...

Along the same line, I was struggling with a short story this week. I shouldn't have been taking the time but I decided to give it a day anyway. I had the voice, I had the concept, I had the word length and the intended audience, I had ... nothing. Just a lump. All day I poked at it, in an ever increasing snit (I don't have TIME to be writing you, you ungrateful hunk of prose!) but it wouldn't budge. Until, finally, in the evening, it suddenly came right. All I had to do was recognize that the bimbo was a double agent. She'd been one the whole time, but neither I nor the protagonist had realised ...

Moments of recognition. For sheer pleasure, they knock drugs and sex and rock and roll into a cocked hat.

Whatever that means.

Spread Thin Across the Toast of Time

2011-08-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

I'm writing two books at the moment. One is set in Cambridge in the 1890s but deals with Egyptian antiquities from (very roughly) 2000 BC. The other is set in Orkney, round about 2500 BC, but includes a character from 2500 AD ...

It is quite possible my head may explode.

How I find myself in this position is a long story I won't bore you with. Of more interest is whether or not it's possible. I've never tried to write two novels simultaneously before, and certainly not two with such disparate time frames. Will I find myself putting 26th century tech into the hands of my Victorian detective? Will my Stone Age heroine start speaking in cockney rhyming slang? Will the two books merge imperceptibly into one gigantic surreal entity, leap out of the temporal toaster and go rampaging off across the kitchen of eternity, thereby making it difficult for me to meet my deadlines?

Stay tuned and I'll let you know how it goes. For now, I think a break is in order - I find myself strangely peckish ...

Saints, Cats, Brontesauruses and the Vagaries of Ranking

2011-08-06T09:43:00.000-07:00

This week I've been blogging around again, at An Awfully Big Blog Adventure:

St Jerome and the Sleeping Cat

and at Girls Heart Books:

What I Want for My Birthday!

Interesting news on the Wikio Blog Ranking UK this month - this blog is up 10 places to number 25 in the Literature category, and up 25 places to number 51 in the Culture category! I have to admit that, even after perusing the explanation several times, I still don't really understand how these ratings are calculated, but if any of it is down to you lot coming by and reading, well then, thank you very much!

Baboon by the Keyboard

2011-07-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

Well, THAT was better! And one of the reasons this week gets a gold star and last week gets a black hole is that THIS week I had a poem come out in Issue 18 of Northwords Now. It's called 'Baboon by the Keyboard' and it's on p. 19.

Northwords Now is such a good thing - and not just because they took a poem! A quick look at the website shows you the quality and enthusiasm of this venture, and the newspaper-format version can be found for free all over Scotland in bookshops and libraries, in art galleries and cinemas and cafes and theatres. Great short fiction, reviews, poetry (!) and I love the covers.

Another reason for the goodness of the week would be that I worked hard and got words done.

Oh, and I posted a blog on Girls Heart Books - 'Who Says Science Fiction is Just For Boys? Not Me!'

So that's the news from here. Onwards and, er, onwards.

Cheers, Joan.

That Was the Week That Wasn't

2011-07-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

Some weeks nothing you want works out.

Don't worry, I'm not going to make a list of all the things that didn't happen for me.

(But if I WERE to make such a list it would have to include NOT sleeping through the night, NOT ONCE, probably due to some anachronistic Calvanistic monkey gene in my brain that says "Those who cross the Atlantic in one night must be punished" ... to which gene I would reply "I've already BEEN punished! Where were you when I got sat beside the woman who oozed over onto my seat with her bottom, monopolized the "shared" armrest, poked me repeatedly with her specially-sharpened elbows, and wore so much perfume I swear she should have been required to buy it its own ticket? Eh? Eh?")

But, no, no list, because I'm busy trying to rise above it all. This is a picture of me doing just that.

And in the spirit of tinsel, here are a couple of things that DID happen:

I had an interview on YA Book Reads - thanks!

And I blogged on Kindle Authors uK about The Diary from the Rim - in which I talk about Kindling and covers in a cheerful fashion.

So will next week be better? I certainly hope so. Otherwise, my next post may have to be titled "The Fortnight of Despair" and NOBODY wants that.

Cheers, Joan.

Kindled - Diary from the Rim and other stories

2011-07-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

Well, we did it!* One son did the technical stuff, another son did the cover art, and I fussed round the edges. (And then left the country. Though there wasn't necessarily a direct causal link between the two ...)

I hope you all like it as much as I do. Or even half as much, since I'm prejudiced on SO many levels here.

And it's great to be back in the land of low temperatures and high rainfall. It really is.

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. And it was also great that the scheduled posting option worked - Yay Blogger!

* And here.

Photo Diary

2011-07-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

And remember, this weekend is the AWFULLY BIG BLOG ADVENTURE'S ONLINE LITERARY FESTIVAL! Join the excitement at http://awfullybigblogadventure.com - I'm in there somewhere - look for the flamingoes.

Biggar Poetry Garden

2011-07-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

If you are by any chance travelling along the old Roman road that links the Clyde Valley with Musselburgh (otherwise known as the A702) this summer, you might like to pause and visit Biggar's Poetry Garden. Partly because it's such a pleasant idea, putting poetry and a garden together, and partly because I know for certain I'm not going to be passing that way and I'd love to have a photo of my poems, up on the Poetry Boards for the next 3 months. However, if you don't expect Biggar to be part of your holiday itinerary, you can see the poems online here.

Cheers, Joan.

Hail to Thee ...

2011-06-25T01:01:00.000-07:00

Some summer hail to prepare me for the heat of Ontario - I'm off to Canada this coming week for a fortnight. It's my mum's 90th birthday - I come from sturdy stock! I've blogged about it on Girls Heart Books here. And I have a post on Kindle Authors UK, here, so lots of itinerate internetting lately.

Usually the person least surprised by a blog is the one who wrote it, but because I've used the scheduling option for while I'm away, I will be tuning in to THIS blog with bated breath - will the posts appear? Here's hoping.

More Photos - Haiku or a Hundred Words Presentation Day!

2011-06-20T11:35:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Lindsey Fraser for the great photos!

Fabulous Foot Work!

2011-06-18T09:44:00.000-07:00

I know I promised photos of the Great Grand Presentation Day (A Haiku or a Hundred Words) but I was only able to take any during the rehearsal and the pictures are, not to put too fine a point on it, rubbish. I'll see if I can get better ones from anyone else who was there on the day. But what I do have, thanks to the wonders of cropping, is a selection of Presentation Day Foot Work! P7 read their writing extremely well during the rehearsal and EVEN BETTER during the performance. I was well proud of them. And I'll tell you something else. I loved their feet.

Thank you Clovenstone Primary School for 3 great days and all the best in your new school next year!

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. Oh, and my blog for the 26Treasures project went up on their site this week. Come see it - and an ENORMOUS picture of me - here! (And if you fancied leaving a comment, I'd be very grateful - feels a bit lonely so far!)

Launching

2011-06-10T08:51:00.000-07:00

Three launches ...

This week the Scottish Book Trust Scottish Family Legends project culminated in an evening book launch at the BBC Scotland building in Glasgow. The anthology is published in book form by Luath Press, who did an excellent job, or you can view the entries (including the photos, which would of course have been way too expensive to include in the book) on-line here. Callum and I went over to Glasgow for the event and thoroughly enjoyed it (we particularly appreciated it being a sitting-down event, after spending a long afternoon at the Kelvingrove Museum and generally walking about!)

Next Monday, the Haiku or a Hundred Words project is going to be doing some culminating of its own - a presentation of P7's work at an assembly for parents and other pupils at Clovenstone Primary School. I'm taking my camera!

And, at a slight tangent, I have met my object in the 26 Treasures project - and it is 4 links from a drag chain, which are used in, you guessed it, the launching of ships. This is a project based in the National Museum of Scotland, in which 26 writers have been assigned 26 objects to write about. If you'd like to see the first such project, at the V & A in London last year, look here. I'll be posting more on this soon!

And none of these events have been costly, which proves that there is indeed such a thing as a free launch ...

Haiku or a Hundred Words Project - Clovenstone Primary School

2011-06-04T00:45:00.000-07:00

First there was the zoo, in search of inspiration ...

Then there was the writing ...

And THEN, on the 13th June, there will be ...

THE BIG DAY!

Come back soon to see photos from the great presentation event of the year!

Monday Past

2011-05-28T01:50:00.000-07:00

I did a guest blog on Katherine Roberts' Reclusive Muse last week - come and see me there ...

And this week I'm off to Clovenstone Primary School with Johnny Meres and Kathryn Ross for Haiku or a Hundred Words, Part 2.

So all good stuff.

First Lines

2011-05-21T07:25:00.001-07:00

Listen to this ...

Aslina o gun hava gayet kotu olabilirdi. Mesela karanlik ve yagmurlu olabilirdi ve dogudan esen korkunc ruzgarda catiya cikmayi dusunmek bile cok tehlikeli olurdu. Ama hava kotu degildi.*

Or perhaps ...

La journee aurait tres bien pu etre epouvantable: grise, humide, avec un mechant vent d'est qui aurait ecarte definitivement toute tentative perilleuse de grimper sur le toit. Mais il n'en etait rien.**

Or even ...

It could just as easily have been a horrible day - grey and wet with a nasty east wind, so that climbing onto the roof was much too dangerous to even consider. But it wasn't.

The arrival this week of the Turkish translation of the first 2 Wickit Chronicles has had me excitedly mangling yet another new language to myself, using the first lines of Ely Plot as my Rosetta Stone. Because I know that sometime, somewhere, my life may very well depend on my ability to say "nasty east wind" in as many languages as possible.

Be my guest - have a go!

* Except that my keyboard doesn't do loads of the letters right.
** Or accents.

Mystery Beach

2011-05-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

Name that beach and win a fabulous prize. Or at the very least, a sense of personal satisfaction ...

I'm on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure this weekend - visit me there!

Cheers, Joan.

Prolific Cows in May

2011-05-06T02:06:00.000-07:00

The Haiku or a Hundred Words project takes off this month, with Clovenstone Primary School, at the Edinburgh Zoo. (Hence the zoo pictures - I had a thoroughly enjoyable recce this weekend - now if only we can have as good weather ...) There will be more anon about this.

Girls Heart Books is up and running, and my first post is scheduled for Monday 9th May - go have a look see!

My next An Awfully Big Blog Adventure slot comes up on Sat. 14th May.

And I'm doing a guest Muse Monday blog on Katherine Roberts' site on the 23rd May which is, er, a Monday.

You may not know this, but, according to my rather ancient Brewers' Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, "The Anglo-Saxons called this month [i.e. May] thrilmilce, because then cows can be milked three times a day ..." Works for me.

Miss Marple for the 9-12's?

2011-05-01T01:29:00.000-07:00

Stumbled across a nice surprise this morning - in the Spring issue of Carousel (a magazine about children's books produced in association with the Federation of Children's Book Groups) there was an article titled:

Whodunnits? Crime Stories and How to Solve Them ... Find a Book That You Like!

It was by David Blanch and he included The Case of the London Dragonfish, cover and all. (Not only that, he said nice things about it, which is why I'm blogging away happily here.) One of the things he noticed in his survey of current children's detective books was that "the majority had a female main character ... Interesting? Were all these writers influenced by Miss Marple or do they want to appeal to a female readership?"

Recently I've had to think about this because I'm taking part in a new blog called Girls Heart Books - launched today! Does Slightly belong in a blog like this, I wondered at first? I was afraid she wasn't, well, pink enough. But then I thought, why shouldn't she be there! Have a look and see what you think - the site looks fabulous. (My first posting date is 9th May.)

Did I write Slightly as a girl because I was aiming at a girl readership? Or because I'm a Miss Marple fan? Well, no. I'm not that in control. I wrote Slightly as a girl because she IS a girl. And is she likely to grow up to be Miss Marple in, say, 50 or 60 years? Why ever not!

My Baby Computer

2011-04-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

Sore hands are the pits. They serve no purpose - they do not make us wiser or nicer or prettier or happier. But new baby computers are as far from the pits as it is possible to get. New baby computers are the high place, the right-up-there ... the anti-pits.

I've bought a netbook. It is small and light and portable - a baby of a computer - and I can type on it in many of the situations when I would normally use a pen and paper and make sore hands sorer. But typing doesn't hurt. Bliss!

Like an actual baby, it takes a little while to get to know it well. Also like an actual baby, it is probably not a good idea to allow the cat to sit on it. Or to drop it from a great height. And already it is having some effect on the process of my writing. My netbook's maiden voyage is a new book, working title Silver Skin. Because I am at the beginning - writing down ideas, snippets of dialogue, asking myself questions, pondering answers - there are a lot of pauses. My baby computer notices these in a way my pen never did. If I don't write anything for a while, it starts to nod off. If I still don't write anything, it goes completely to sleep. This isn't really a problem, but it certainly makes me aware of the passage of time between one thought and the next, or along the length of a single thought. I've yet to discover if this irks or inspires.

If the baby analogy holds, it'll be a bit of both.

Crime Central and The Scotsman

2011-04-15T03:43:00.000-07:00

I have started to dip my toes in the large lake of guest blogging, starting with a post on Crime Central about writing Victorian whodunnits, cunningly titled Writing Victorian Whodunnits.

And The Case of the Glasgow Ghoul got a nice review by Jane Sandell in The Scotsman on 10 April.

So an excellent week for Slightly Jones. That's my girl!

In Praise of Ruperts

2011-04-09T02:17:00.000-07:00

I had my An Awfully Big Blog Adventure slot this week - here's the link. Missing Moniack, as you can tell, but onwards and, er, onwards ...

Good-bye to Moniack Mhor

2011-04-02T00:47:00.000-07:00

Week Four - Moniack Mhor

2011-03-28T00:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday from 8:30 to 9:30 pm was the WWF's Earth Hour. So I lit the cottage's emergency candles, stoked the stove and turned off the lights. I had planned to spend the hour peacefully reading. Have you ever tried to read by 4 candles and a plateful of tealights? With the eyes of youth, maybe, but I'd spent the day at the computer, pushing through a second draft I'd promised myself I'd have finished by the day before. Old eyes, over-used, on strike. So no reading. So I decided I would write a poem. After all, there I was, sitting right in the middle of a metaphor. And I could write BIG so I could see what I was doing. Use the time, Joan! But I didn't do that either.

Instead I watched the candles. Then I watched the fire. Then I watched the light from the fire flicker on the ceiling. Then I watched the red tulips with their green leaves in the white jug, in the candle-light.

That's what I did for Earth Hour.

It was really, really nice.

Weekend Three - Moniack Mhor

2011-03-20T05:20:00.000-07:00

The hill is alive with ... the Highland Literary Salon Writing Retreat. Seventeen keen writers, woolied and wellied, have arrived, and the place is bulging with words, with Alan Bissett as their intrepid leader.

Saturday evening we sat about the fire in the main house and people read some of the things they'd been writing. It was wonderful - all the different voices and styles, all the tantalising snippets of story - and when I went back through the wind to the cottage (many hours before many of them!) I saw the moon. It was amazingly bright, being at its closest point to Earth that night, so I wrote a poem for the weekend, called ...

Don’t Disappoint the Moon

On the night of Saturday 19 March the full moon was at its closest point to Earth. Observers noticed that it shone over Moniack Mhor with a particular intensity.

Astonished, it hangs,
the white, bright face inn the sky,
city-sized eyes agog.
Lunar ears, hard
to distinguish from any other crater,
are wide for words.
The old man's mouth drops open,
a trickle of moon dust
unnoticed at the edge.
But time is implacable.
The face sails on,
looking, longingly,
over a shoulder it does not possess,
whispering across the blank of space
"But wait - no - you can't stop there -
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?!"

Week Three A - Moniack Mhor

2011-03-20T05:14:00.000-07:00

Week Two - Take Two - Moniack Mhor

2011-03-13T01:31:00.000-08:00

Well, the power went off at 3:00 this morning. I know this because a polite but insistent alarm kept telling me so. Eventually I found a way to silence it, but really, what did it think I was going to DO? I don't NEED electricity to sleep. I thought, "This is news that can keep."

And it did. By 7:00 there was still no power. I trudged up to the main building to see if there was any power up there. Nope. But I did discover that the snow was now up to my knees. I trudged back again. Looking out now, a few hours later, my knee-high footprints are almost completely filled in.

Then, for no apparent reason, the power came on again. I was happy to see it. I'm quite sure it won't decide to go away again, in any random fashion whatsoever. Absolutely sure. Now where do they keep the candles ...

Week Two - Moniack Mhor

2011-03-12T04:13:00.000-08:00

I got back from the extremely excellent Aye Write festival in Glasgow just in time to be snowed in here - since Tuesday night it's snowed and blown away and snowed again and started to melt and snowed again. There's been sun and fog and clouds of many colours and the most brutal winds. I now know that sheep face away from a blizzard and end up with snow-capped backsides. I also now know that the astonishingly beautiful red kite is astonishingly difficult to photograph - and that it eats snow. I watched it swoop down, grab a clawful and eat/drink it on the wing. It must have known I was watching, though, so it may just have been showing off.

In the midst of all this weather-, sheep-, and birdwatching I have also been writing up a storm (ooo, see what I did there), including while asleep. I have been having the most vivid dreams, all narrated by me, and have several times said to myself, while doing so, "oh that's a good phrase, you better remember that" ...

Cabin-crazy? Me? Not a bit of it.

Cheers, Joan.

Week One - Moniack Mhor

2011-03-06T02:33:00.000-08:00

My cottage

My neighbours

My view

The darling buds of March

I'm really here. And now I so don't want to leave!

Everyone has been so welcoming - even the demented resident crow, Rupert, has flung himself repeatedly at my windows in what I can only hope is enthusiastic greeting. And the centre car - The Beast - is no longer an unknown terror. After having my bottom boiled (thank goodness I've found the off button for the seat warmer at last!) AND having to back 1/2 a mile up a steep single track road with ditches on either side because the guy with the trailer missed the passing place, I made it to my first school in Dingwall without killing anyone and had a great time. So The Beast is now, I guess, more of a known terror, but those are the better kind.

I am well stuck in to writing Samuel Palmer's Moon, and still setting myself unrealistic daily goals. Week 2 includes going off to the Aye Write book festival in Glasgow Monday and Tuesday, and visiting 2 schools in Inverness on Wednesday, then time again to write my tiny socks off.

And now, back to it!

Cheers, Joan.

Unrealistic ...

2011-02-27T03:00:00.000-08:00

... on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure - have a look!

(I've taken copious notes on how to download pictures from the camera to the computer (push the cord thingie into the port thingie and click the button thingie) so I hope to be putting up photos of just how amazingly gorgeous the scenery around Moniack Mhor is with ease and panache. Heading north tomorrow - very excited - very not packed ...)

Cheers, Joan.

Orkney

2011-02-19T05:51:00.000-08:00

I'm just back from Orkney, visiting Stromness Primary, and Dounby and Stenness Community Schools, and it was fabulous. The kids were great, the teachers were lovely, the hospitality was delightful ... I will run out of enthusiastic adjectives long before I cover it all! And don't start me on Skara Brae and the Pier Art Centre - 5000 years between them and yet both fascinating, stimulating, and fitting into the land- and seascapes in ways that make the phrase "perfection on a stick" just not adequate.

Like Venice, Orkney is addictive, and I will HAVE to go back. And write a book about it. A book that needs lots and lots of on-site research.

Oh yes.

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. And I also spent an evening with the Stromness Writing Group, which was excellent - keep up the good work!

Go Ghoul!

2011-02-12T13:23:00.001-08:00

Slightly Jones' second adventure now has its own page on my website - with Did you knows? and Extracts and Quiz answers - AND an accolade:

The Case of the Glasgow Ghoul is the Books from Scotland Children's Choice for February!

I was really pleased - you know how it is with second children, you worry, don't you. But this is a fine start and I have high hopes for the nipper.

All for now - I'm off to Orkney tomorrow and I need to make sure I've packed the camera ...

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. If you haven't been to Slightly's Notebook recently, you won't know about Our Friend the Camel, or seen the Rotating Aerial House of the Future - both well worth a visit!

The Yuck Behind My Face

2011-02-06T01:04:00.000-08:00

Sinusitis. What a pain. Though I must say, on her it looks good. I suspect bubonic plague would look good on her too, of course. Some people just don't know how to get sick properly. Doesn't she realise you're supposed to go blotchy and have huge frown/squint lines and snap at your children lots? And, for no good reason, gain weight. It's probably the volume of yuck I'm storing behind my face - and that's a thought that should just put me off my tea.

I was in the kitchen, moaning my inability to write when I felt like this. "What purpose do sinuses serve, anyway?" I wailed.

"They're designed to equalize the pressure in your head so your brain won't explode," a son explained.

"But mine are full of yuck!"

"Oh dear," said the son, and retreated briskly.

And the Winner is ...

2011-01-30T02:29:00.000-08:00

... P3 at Linlithgow Bridge Primary School!

They're the winners of the Victorian Christmas Quiz (aka The December Challenge) and a certificate announcing that they are all now members of the Slightly Jones Detective Team will be coming their way any day now. Not to mention -

- a signed copy of Slightly's new adventure, The Case of the Glasgow Ghoul! It's officially out on 1 February, so soon - really soon! I'm very excited!

Congratulations, P3 and I hope you enjoy the book - and many thanks to every one else who entered the Slightly Jones competitions over the past 6 months.

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. Visit my Jan. blog on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure, titled High Confidence and the Leaks - though it has been suggested that a better name might have been The Vegetables of the Soul ...

Fungus Near Perth

2011-01-22T09:40:00.000-08:00

Fog Near Rannoch

2011-01-15T09:20:00.000-08:00

The Jessie Kesson Fellowship

2011-01-08T03:34:00.000-08:00

Looks gorgeous, doesn't it? And see the cottage on the left? That's going to be mine, for March 2011, to write in!

As a Jessie Kesson Fellow at Moniack Mohr, I'll be spending one day a week doing workshops in local schools as well as an adult workshop on one of the centre's Partnership days and a reading at a ceilidh. And the rest of the time - peace and quiet and the company of a wood-burning stove ... So much of Jessie Kesson's writing is set in this beautiful area of Scotland and I will have the same astonishing landscape to inspire me.

I can't wait!

Of course, if you wanted an accurate image for my time there, you'd probably need to cover up all the green in the picture with several feet of snow ... So, pack my thesaurus, the Work(s) In Progress and several layers of long underwear, and I'm set.

Happy New Year! Joan.

A Happy Christmas and an Excellent New Year!

2010-12-18T08:45:00.000-08:00

That's what I wish for all and sundry. I'll not be blogging for the next two weeks, but I leave you now with what is, as far as I know, a world first, and without doubt a highlight of 2010 for me ...

It was Dress Up As Your Favourite Book Character Day, and in amongst the Harry Potters and the Pippi Longstockings was Jason, who chose to come to school as Professor Appleword from The Case of the London Dragonfish. Thank you, my friend - I may never stop smiling!

Love the Tunes, Pity about the Words

2010-12-12T02:01:00.000-08:00

The Dundee Choral Union is going all operatic this time. We're singing choruses from Aida, Carmen, Madame Butterfly, Die Meistersinger, Tannhauser and others ... leaping from German to French to Italian with all the grace of a slightly elderly centipedic gazelle. There's no denying the tunes are fabulous. And with an excellent soloist (Gwynn Hughes Jones), a delightful children's choir (NYCOS) and the deeply groovy Orchestra of Scottish Opera, it's going to be a very good concert indeed.

There's obviously a "but" coming and here it is. The problem of giggling.

When I was growing up my mother baked on Saturday afternoons, while listening to the opera at the Met in New York on the radio. Luscious smells, gorgeous music, words in a foreign language so I wasn't bothered by their naffness. Also when I was growing up, my father was showing me Marx Brother movies, and sharing his own translations ...

Celeste Aida became
Heavens, it's Ada!

The Toreador Song became
Toreadora, don't spit on the floor-a
Use the cuspidora
That's what it's for-a
Oh
Don't spit on the floor
Do not spit on the floor!
Do not expectorate
If you expect to rate
If you expect to rate ...

Need I go on ...

I like to think I've shared many different approaches to culture with my children. Not all my boys are going to make it to the concert, but I'm going to have to be extremely careful not to catch the eyes of the ones that do. Opera is serious stuff, after all.

Cheers, Joan.

See How It Flows

2010-12-05T03:21:00.001-08:00

I like doing poetry with primary school kids. I like the way they take to it without fuss and declaimers and all that 'ooo I don't do that - I'm not Shakespeare!' that sets in at, probably, puberty. When I do a group poem with a primary school class I always get enough material for 20 poems. It just flows ...

Here are a few samples from last month, the first a group poem and the second a spontaneous offering from a Year 4 girl.

If Only I Had a Flying Horse

If only I had a flying horse
I would fly to Mars
I would see aliens in make believe suits with stars in their ears
I would hear sticky gooey stomping
I would smell the burning of the sun
I would taste the sun smoke and
I would feel the stars
If only I had a flying horse

P3 Linlithgow Bridge Primary School

One day a dark night, did swirl
in the midst sat a pale girl
she sat upon a tiny stool
she sat unflinching though the wind cruel
she was motionless lost in thought
the world cruel, but the world so sweet
it depends whatever path you meet
that she was trapped between the two
and there she sat, still as a stone
with a body that seemed to be made
out of bone
the night winds were bitter
but there was our sitter
upon that tiny stool
so small

Elizabeth (age 9) Great Abington Primary School

Fabulous! I'll be putting them up on the Readers' Gallery as soon as I can, along with some more drawings. Meantime, we continue to be inordinately inconvenienced by snow ... though I did hear a lovely little throw-away on a weather report recently. The pictures were of a snowy sheep farm and the reporter said,
"At X Farm, the snow is deep and crisp and even the sheep are feeling the cold ..."

Cheers, Joan.

Wappit

2010-11-27T02:47:00.000-08:00

And thocht I be nocht in endite expert
Nor eloquent, my simpilnese excuse
And have compacioun of my trublit hert,
Wappit in dred, of all the warld refuse.
I will non othiris dolouris feyne nor use,
Nor borow teris in my pen to rayne,
Bot sic as fallis fro myn eyne twayn.

from The Lufaris Complaynt

Why am I splashing medieval poetry about on my blog? The reason is, I'm tired. So? So I'm tired, and that little voice that never shuts up inside your head was saying, Phew, I'm really wappit ... wappit ... I wonder if that means what I think it means? I think it means tired. I always use it to mean tired. I'm too tired to find out. Think I'll post about author visit tiredness. Think I'll call it Wappit. Better find out what it means ...

Never succinct, that little voice.

Anyway, I googled the word and got this complaining lover. And in the notes ...

"Wappit - stunned."

So there you are. I am, indeed, wappit. But in a good way. I'm hoping in the coming week to get some of the wonderful art work I've been given this month onto my website and more entries onto Slightly's website (there's some dinosaurs there this week - www.slightlyjones.co.uk) and generally round up - though I've one more talk to do on Tuesday. But really, the whole thing's been ... stunning.

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. I may very well be teaching my granny to suck eggs - I never studied medieval poetry so I have no insider information - BUT I find it's a lot like trying to read Scots dialect poetry. If you read it out loud, the sense is much easier to pick up. What the eye can't tell, the ear can. Go on, give it a go.

A Door of Kelpies

2010-11-20T02:00:00.000-08:00

I love weird collective nouns - a busyness of ferrets, an exaltation of larks, a parliament of owls, and now ... a door of kelpies. That's if you like them a lot. (It's a joke. But if I have to tell you that, it maybe isn't ...)

This fabulous door decoration is the work of P3 at Linlithgow Primary School who do like kelpies, and The Night of the Kelpies specifically. In my travels so far this month I've seen the most amazing pictures of ferrets and princesses and castles and gargoyles and medieval hoodies - and any of them that I've been able to wangle away from their owners will be going up in the Readers' Gallery section of my website as soon as I can manage. Over the days, we've written fabulous poems together, started astonishing detective stories, and I've done my best to answer reams of questions, many familiar, some quite startling. What, for example, is my favourite punctuation?* Which of my books do I like the least?** What's my cat's name?***

Week 3 takes me to Cambridgeshire (and I'm currently disease-free - long may that last!) so who knows what I'll be asked next!

Cheers, Joan.

* It's the dash. I love it. My editors are less enamoured. We have discussions.
** Impossible to answer.
*** Katie.

Ribburta and the Mighty Mysterious Squirrel Affair

2010-11-14T03:42:00.000-08:00

Something nice plopped through my letter box this week - 2 copies of the October Spider Magazine, with the second Ribburta story in it. (The first one was in the January issue - Ribburta and the Rootintootin' Highfalutin' Ballet Extravaganza.)

I love Rupert van Wyk's pictures.

And there's another Ribburta story still to come - Ribburta and the Run-Ragged Babysitting Disaster - full of danger, excitement, and many, many, many tiny green frogs ... I don't know when it's going to be published, and more van Wyk artwork is to be unveiled, but I can't wait!

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. Week One of my November On The Road went really, really well. Unfortunately, I picked up an unpleasant gut bug somewhere along the line which manifested just as I got home again, so I'm hoping hard that it will have cleared itself up before I'm off again in Week Two!

November Nomad

2010-11-06T02:57:00.000-07:00

There’s a lot of out-and-about coming up in the next month for me. Gateshead, Sunderland, South Tyneside, Linlithgow, Bishopbriggs, Cambridge, Great Abington and Uphall. This will entail:

a series of train trips (quiet, peaceful, work-filled journeys)

hotel rooms (with central heating that turns off, not over the pub and with fairy-footed neighbours)

book stock to sign (which will have arrived in the right place on the right day)

books to sell (to kids whose parents actually knew I was coming and sent in money)

and lots of eager faces to talk to (without having to at the same time outshout the gym class next door, the dinner ladies beyond the cardboard partition, or the toddlers crying in the picture book section).

You can tell I write fiction …

Wish me luck!

P.S. I’m also on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure on Monday, having first messed up the delayed posting option so that it appeared on last Wednesday, and then being rescued by Damian Harvey, SAS techie guru, who put it (he hopes) where it belongs on the 8^th. Check it out.

Sandwiched between a Wonderbra and a Knitted Orgasm ...

2010-10-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

... is where my poem "Since I Have Had Children" has found its home. I'm chuffed to bits to be included in this anthology - The Iron Book of New Humorous Verse edited by Eileen Jones. I keep dipping into it when I should be doing other things (like writing more poems) and every time I do I think "Oh yes, that's the bit I'll quote in my blog ... or maybe that bit ... or ..."

So instead of simply transcribing the entire book, I'm going to just choose two with the old poke a pin at it technique - NOT MY FAVOURITES - I DON'T DO FAVOURITES - THEY'RE ALL A HOOT! - in the hopes of enticing you in for yourself.

Fluffy Weighs in on the Baby by Melissa Balmain

It's hairless as an egg:
Why bother petting that?
It doesn't purr or groom your leg,
And yet you feed the brat.

Instead of catching mice,
It grapples with its socks.
It's never taken my advice
To use the litter box.

It can't climb up a tree,
It can't chase balls of string,
It leaves you zero time for me -
Just eat the wretched thing.

and Sung Dynasty by Sean O'Brien

My lover tells me that when autumn comes
He will fashion me a boat of cherry blossom:
There's no way I'm getting into that.

Train of Thought Derailment

2010-10-23T04:16:00.000-07:00

I love trains - I've said so before - how wonderfully fruitful a peaceful stretch of writing time train travel can provide. But sometimes I really hate being stuck on a train. When the amply endowed lady sits beside (and partially on) me. The one with nothing to read. The one who is going to bludgeon me with chat, all complaints and cliches, till my ears bleed. Oh please, no, oh no ...

Lady (after sighing pointedly a number of times, which I ignore, trying to quell my growing dread): I always eat on trains - it's because I get so bored.
Me: Ah? I always bring work to do on trains. (wave sheaf of papers, smile politely, try to go back to work.)
Lady: (randomly) You can't trust computers ... (long story follows about how she thinks somebody stole her bank details from a computer once and now she only pays cash for everything)
Me: Ah? (return to paragraph and re-read it AGAIN desperately trying to concentrate)
Lady: And nobody gives their seats up for old people any more. Except on buses. Young men on buses. They stand up. (long story follows about the way young girls don't stand up. Though perhaps on buses they do.)
Me: Ah. Oh.
Lady: (suspiciously) Is that work you're doing?
Me: (hopeful that the penny has dropped) Yes! Yes, I'm working.
Lady: What do you do?
Me: (stupidly) I'm a writer.
Lady: Jilly Cooper's a writer. I don't know where she gets her ideas.
Me: (in the spirit of grasping nettles) I don't have so much trouble with ideas. More with having enough time to get the writing done. That's why I always work on trains. (Hopeful smile - wave paper - resolutely make meaningless mark in the margin to look as if I am, indeed, at work)
Lady: I don't know where you get your ideas. What did you say your name was? I've never heard of you. Have you ever been to Ireland? I was going to Ireland on a holiday but they wanted to get money from me off a computer, so I'm going on a bus.
Me: (thinks) I wish I'd gone on a bus ...

I would pay good money - by computer or in cash - for a cloak of invisibily and a cone of silence. To use on trains. Please, please, could somebody invent them soon?

Family Legends

2010-10-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

This is a new project by the Scottish Book Trust - have a look here and see if you fancy having a go!

A call went out a few weeks ago for some pre-launch examples of Family Legends and I wrote a piece called The Long Shadow about my mother's father. If you'd like to read it, click here! I'd like to thank my cousin Mary Beth, who is our family's genealogist, for her help - and I'm really sorry I didn't get a chance to fix the fact that the Chinese guys I called barons were in fact warlords. So, when you get to that bit, just change it in your mind, okay? Virtual editing - excellent!

Cheers, Joan.

Congratulations!

2010-10-08T01:46:00.000-07:00

It is my great pleasure today to announce the Winner and Runner-up of the Slightly Jones Art-y-fact Drawing Competition (otherwise known as The September Challenge). First Prize goes to

***** Katherine (age 10) of Broughty Ferry *****

And a very close Runner-up Prize goes to

***** Sofia (age 10) of Edinburgh *****

Well done! To see their winning entries, and to find out more about the Slightly Jones Detective Team (and The October Challenge), click here!

Tune That Name

2010-10-02T10:29:00.001-07:00

Today I'm over on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure, speculating on the naming of things. Well, of characters, mostly. Come and see - there's a nice photo of a Swiss rose!

Bannockburn (Poetry) Battle

2010-09-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Here are the results for the OFF THE STANZA POETRY COMPETITION, announced during An Evening of Poetry with Magi Gibson at Bannockburn Library:

1st - Kate Blackadder (Edinburgh)
2nd - Jean Taylor (Edinburgh)
3rd - Nick Boreham (Stirling)

Highly commended were Freny Olbrich (Dollar), Lesley Harrison (Orkney), Robert Richie (Stirling), Catherine Graham (Newcastle on Tyne) ... and me. But in spite of not achieving absolute glory, I had a really good evening. We were a very interesting bunch of poets - I think we did the Bannockburn librarians, the Bannockburn Study Group and our very respectably sized audience proud. I love reading aloud, even though I invariably turn beetroot when I do it. Though, in retrospect, I wonder if the chain mail and the horse was a mistake ...

Congratulations to the winners! To see a photo of those of us who were able to come to read on the night, click here.

Cheers, Joan.

New October Challenge Unveiled

2010-09-18T04:11:00.000-07:00

That's right. The closing date for the Slightly Jones Art-y-fact Drawing Competition (aka the September Challenge) has come and gone and, without pausing to draw breath, the October Challenge is up and running. To find out what mystery Slightly has set this time, go to

www.slightlyjones.co.uk

and click on the bookmark Challenges. Good luck!

We've had some lovely entries for the Art-y-fact competition, and some helpful hints on how to clean wallpaper with stale bread on Slightly's Notebook, so many thanks to everyone who's dropped by and taken part.

Oh, and for those kind souls who thought of me and my root canal last week ... please, please, could you do it again? I rolled up for my appointment only to discover that their xray machine was broken and could I come back next week? So it's ten past High Noon next Thursday for me.

Sigh. Joan.

Steampunk

2010-09-11T02:43:00.000-07:00

There are two reasons I've been thinking about steampunk this week. One is Slightly Jones. I've been spending so much time in her world it's starting to bleed over into every new story idea I get. That's the good reason. The not-so-good-reason that my dreams - and my waking thoughts - seem to be unnecessarily full of boiling steam and clanky crushy giant gears is ... IRC.

Impending Root Canal.

My ancient mother had one last year and when I asked her in fear and trembling what it was like she said, "Well, I remember wondering what the fuss was all about." Us steampunk types KNOW what the fuss is all about. Infernal engines. In our mouths. Fussing has nothing to do with it.

Think of me on Tuesday.

Joan.

P.S. Think of me on Thursday evening as well. I've been short-listed for the Off the Stanza Poetry Competition and I and my mutilated mouth would really love to do well!

Slightly Out There

2010-09-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

Slightly Jones' social life is hotting up. In August she was at the Edinburgh Book Festival, in September she's going to be in New Lanark and Wigtown, in October at the North Lanarkshire "Works" Book Festival and then in November it's the Northern Children's Book Festival. With any luck there'll be other visits too, to schools and libraries and who knows where - she's a friendly soul. The first entry in her Notebook will be posted this weekend. If you want to find out how the Victorians managed their own version of CGI, have a look!

www.slightlyjones.co.uk

Let us know what you think of the new site and don't forget there's still time to enter the September competition. One of the prizes is having your imagined stealable artefact included in the next Slightly Jones Mystery - The Case of the Glasgow Ghoul. Why not give it a go? Details here.

Cheers, Joan.

Edinburgh International Book Festival

2010-08-29T08:25:00.001-07:00

Well, it was a blast. I don't think there was a single person in the entire city of Edinburgh I didn't enthuse to ( or should that be "at"?) about Slightly Jones and her new website. Sometimes more than once ... (I can see now the look on the face of the poor person I tried to give a competition flyer to two days in a row. "There is no escape," I cackled madly. She agreed with only a slight shudder.) I talked about Slightly in the authors' yurt, in the local bookshops, at lunch with friends, to passing bloggers, at the ALCS Summer Reception, at the Teen Titles do - oh, and at my event! Many thanks to all the schools, teachers and pupils alike - you were a great audience, asked really good questions, and will make excellent detectives! I look forward to you joining the ranks of the Slightly Jones Detective Team soon.

Still, just in case you are one of the few who slipped through my fingers this week, here are all the links you'll need ...

You'll find SLIGHTLY JONES' NOTEBOOK (the brand new Slightly Jones website) here
and
if you'd like to have a go at the very first monthly competition - THE SLIGHTLY JONES ART-Y-FACT DRAWING COMPETITION - look here!

Phew. Joan.

The Build-up to Friday

2010-08-22T03:07:00.000-07:00

Friday 27th August, 10:00, RBS Corner Theatre, Edinburgh International Book Festival ...

... is when (and where) my very first Slightly Jones event is to be launched on an unsuspecting public! Not only that, it's the day the new website - SLIGHTLY JONES' NOTEBOOK - goes live. For all the details and links, and reports on the way the day went, watch this space, same time next week.

In the meantime, how about a look at THE SLIGHTLY JONES ART-Y-FACT DRAWING COMPETITION? It's the first in a succession of competitions that will be announced between now and February, which is when the second Slightly Jones mystery (The Case of the Glasgow Ghoul) comes out. The prize for this first competition includes having the strange Art-y-fact that you invent included in the book! All the information you'll need is here.

Now all I have to do is figure out what to wear.

Cheers, Joan.

Temperate Bliss

2010-08-17T09:56:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Scotland, it's raining, it's cold, and I couldn't be more pleased. There's a post of mine from 5th August on An Awfully Big Blog Adventure. I'll be back here properly on the weekend, and I look forward to seeing you then!

Cheers, Joan.

Please Hold ...

2010-08-01T01:17:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't live in Britain, this is the Test Card Girl who used to grace British TV screens when there was nothing on. Literally nothing on. Not the "There's nothing on" of modern day viewing. And I've popped her up there as a way of saying that, yet again, I'm sloping off. Not Switzerland this time. Given the flatness of the country round where my mother lives you might even say SO not Switzerland. Yes, it's my semi-annual stint in an old people's home, with not always reliable computer access. With any luck my post for An Awfully Big Blog Adventure will go up as scheduled on Thursday 5 August. And I will be back here posting in the flesh (an odd image that makes me think of horses) a week or so after that.

See you then!

Cheers, Joan.

Addicted to Absence

2010-07-24T02:25:00.000-07:00

Hawthornden Castle - International Writers' Retreat
Scotland

Le Chateau de Lavigny - International Writers' Residence
Switzerland

For years I used to drool gently over the websites of writing retreats/residencies/colonies - "How wonderful," I thought, "to be able to escape from the world like that and do nothing all day but write. How wonderful to be taken so seriously as a writer that you get given a chunk of time like that, in places like that, with other writers - REAL writers - to do nothing but get utterly stuck in ..." But it was not for the likes of me, with more children than sense and a teaching job and all that other stuff that makes escape completely impracticable.

But, if you live long enough, things change. Gradually, eventually, COULDN'T POSSIBLY became WHY NOT? So I started applying ...

And has the experience been as fabulous as the expectation? Yes it has. Both times. (Both times so far, because I'm going to apply for more.) I sank up to my eyeballs in my work. I got reams done. I found the solution to problems of plot by the simple expedient of staying at it until I did. Maybe I couldn't keep up that kind of pace longer than the 3 or 4 weeks on offer, but I loved the feeling of going all out. Going for broke. Is it difficult living so closely with 5 or 6 strangers? Well, yes. A bit. But is it rewarding living so closely with 5 or 6 other writers? Completely. Each time, each group, I learned so much, got stretched, reminded that there's a whole world of words out there. You can get too enclosed, too inward-looking just writing what you write in the way that you write it. It's exhilarating to get that shaken up.

But couldn't I achieve the same thing by just kidnapping a passing poet and holing up in the garage for a month? Sorry, but no. The beauty of the setting is important too. Vital, really. I'm not sure how to describe why or how, but take my word for it. It matters.

Writing retreats/residencies/colonies aren't for everybody, but they are definitely for me. They might be for you, too. If you're at a point in your life when escape is even remotely possible, give them a thought.

Who knows, I might see you there!

Cheers, Joan.

Lavigny Three

2010-07-17T04:06:00.000-07:00

Places I worked at the Chateau.

Lavigny Two

2010-07-17T03:58:00.000-07:00

Views around and of the Chateau de Lavigny.

Lavigny One

2010-07-17T03:49:00.000-07:00

Sunflowers near Lavigny, and the market at Morges.

Patience is a place keeper

2010-07-11T00:53:00.000-07:00

Computer problems here ... please come back next week ... je suis desole ... zoot alors ...

Lavigny - Day 13

2010-07-04T00:38:00.000-07:00

Perhaps We Could Edit?

And when the journalist asked
"And is there anything particularly
Swiss
that you are putting in your book?"
my manners, shamefully, deserted me.
"Oh yes, of course.
A villain."
I'm sorry I said so now.
It's no return for
the way the mountains hover
in the mist,
the flawless beauty
of the children,
the elegant importunity
of cats,
la glace
pistache ...
Jealousy of so much
so much
is no excuse
for being rude.
I'm sorry I said so now.
Even if it's true.

Lavigny: Day Six

2010-06-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

The time is going TOO FAST!

Midsummer

The farmer cut the hay
before I came
and laid it out
in careful curves around the field.
Now, each noon,
he comes again to turn the grass,
drying in the sun through
shades of green, to celadon and beige,
while overhead the handsome buzzards
turn their cartwheels in the sky
and drop
to harvest ousted mice

Until the evening when I find
that all the grass is
baled and dotted round the stubble,
uncountable strands compacted,
circled up with miles of nylon string.
It's the most I can do
to make one roll at all,
but long-legged girls
scramble on board,
leap and laugh theirs
right across the field
when they think no one's watching

In the morning
the girls are gone
and already the farmer's there to haul
the summer-scented
cylinders
away,
with thoughts that turn to autumn

And all that's left,
until I leave -
a cat,
one tiny tiger
watching the round holes
of vole

Melrose Abbey - Borders Book Festival Abbey Day

2010-06-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

Borders Book Festival - Five Star

2010-06-19T08:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent the day at the Frank Knight Schools Gala Day, part of the Borders Book Festival at Melrose.

The programme said:

"For the first time the education team at Historic Scotland have combined forces
with the Borders Book Festival to make the School’s Gala Day even more exciting.
They knew that Joan Lennon was going to make an appearance at the Festival
to talk about her wonderful series The Wickit Chronicle, which is set in an Abbey
and thought, “we look after a real Abbey, so we should team up and make a
whole day of activities around Joan’s talk”.

The Book Festival Abbey Day activities and times are:

A Day in the Life of a Monk
Brother Francis will be making a visit from the twelfth century to tell pupils what
life was like for a monk at Melrose Abbey and all about the preparations he is
making to go on a crusade to the Holy land.

Story-telling Session
Mary Kenny the Borders based story-teller will be introducing a new collection
of stories about the Abbey and events that have taken place there over the
centuries.

Abbey Tour
Frank Burrell who looks after Melrose Abbey all year round and Jane Gaze who
is the Learning Officer at the Abbey will show pupils around the Abbey and let
them see the interesting artefacts in the Abbey Life Handling Box."

It was WONDERFUL! I had such a nice day and could not have been more made-welcome which if it isn't a word, should be. The kids were delightful, the grown-ups were lovely, the food was great - and I had enough time to take part in some of the sessions in the Abbey (which is so gorgeous I'm going to do another post on carvings as soon as I finish this one.) So often you just have to get back in the car or back on a train as soon as you've done your bit, but I had the chance this time to catch my breath and be plied with terrific food and buckets of coffee and feel as if I'd BEEN to the Festival instead of just being in it.

It was great, so thank you Borders Book Festival for having me - and please PLEASE ask me back!

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. I'm at the Chateau de Lavigny for the next three weeks. I will TRY to blog from there but I'm not entirely sure how easy that's going to be ... so if you don't hear from me for a bit, that's why. I'll be back in Scotland again on 12th July, and (if the delayed post thingumy option has worked) on ABBA on 2nd July. Meantime, I hope you have a good summer. Unless you leave in the Southern Hemisphere, in which case, have a good winter.

Go On - Give It A Go!

2010-06-12T05:44:00.000-07:00

There are fun writerly things to have a bash at all over the internet, but here are two I particularly like:

1. Mibits 300 Okay, I have a vested interest. My story opening "Out of the Cold Sea" is one of the entries here, and I'm desperate to know how it's going to end! Mibit works like this - an established writer sends in an opening bit and each week somebody else can add the next bit (max. 300 words) and so on until the story is at least 1500 words long. Or as long as it takes. There are five possible stories to be part of up on the site so far, but please, please, if you possibly can - HELP FINISH MINE!

2. Bugged - Creative Eavesdropping on 1st July. So, here it is ... on the 1st of July, writers go out into the world and eavesdrop like mad. Pick up a scrap, a snippet, a phrase, a few words in passing - and then write about it. Poetry, flash fiction, short scripts. I worry a little that 1st of July will turn out to be a day of complete silence, as everyone wanders about with their ears flapping and their mouths shut. So if you don't fancy writing, do consider saying something bizarre near anyone you see with a notebook ...

Go on, give it a go - you know you want to!

Cheers, Joan.

The Unreality of Chateaux

2010-06-05T03:55:00.000-07:00

In a little over 2 weeks I'm going to Switzerland, to Le Chateau de Lavigny, for a 3-week Writers' Residency. This is - obviously - wildly, truly, deeply wonderful, and yet I'm really struggling to feel as if it's really REAL. I think this is because the part of my brain that should be thinking about the book I'll be working on there is up to its tiny eyebrows in ANOTHER book which I'm trying to finish before I leave. That, and the fact that my house has all at once filled up with large, excessively live, uniformly unemployed sons - and their belongings. And I'm trying to fill out a Scottish Arts Council Grant form (deadline 14 June) which is proving to be far more difficult than it should be - I just can't seem to find a properly convincingly persuasive form-filler's voice to use ...

If going away doesn't seem more real by NEXT post, however, I'll be surprised. And worried. Which will very likely help.

Cheers, Joan.

P.S. The names of the residents are up on the Chateau de Lavigny website now - here's the list for my session:

Natalia Bilotserkivets (Ukraine)
Sandrine Fabbri (Switzerland)
Togara Muzanenhamo (Zimbabwe)
Joan Lennon (Canada)
Margherita Russotto (Italy)
Mykola Ryabchuk (Ukraine)

If anyone on this list finds their way here, I have 3 things to say -
1. Hi!
2. Please don't be scary.
3. I know they've put me down as Canadian but my knowledge of Canada stops round about 1978, when I left. (Already I'm a fraud.)

The Brain Bone's Connected to the Nose Bone, over on ABBA

2010-05-30T03:14:00.000-07:00

Visit me here.

Last night I dreamed I was writing a story about a character who, every time she coughed, was whipped into another dimension. I thought, "I should remember this - this would make a great book."

You can't really count on dreams, can you.

Cheers, Joan.

What I Want For My Birthday

2010-05-22T01:10:00.000-07:00

How many times have you been told, "Oh, you must watch this thing on Youtube - it's hilarious" and you've dutifully watched and it's been utterly ho-hum?

Trust me, this time, it's going to be different ...

Watch this. And then please, please, get me a Brontesaurus for my birthday!

Cheers, Joan.

Sharp-eyed Sheep and an Open Mic

2010-05-15T01:57:00.000-07:00

This is a post in two parts.

For the first - please click here for a wonderful post by Leila Rasheed. Above is her photo of a sheep which I really like, even though it isn't exactly the sharp-eyed end.

For the second - I've been thinking about an informal poetry reading I was part of one evening on Islay the week before last. It was in my hosts' sitting room with a fine view out over the evening bay and across to the square white lighthouse of the Oa. Why do I keep forgetting how much I like poetry? Writing it, listening to it, reading it out loud? I don't know. I'm going to try to get back into poetry properly. I really am. Writing it, submitting it - and I'm going to try to find some Open Mic evenings and stand up and read it.

See if I don't. Though perhaps that should be, See, if I don't, could you just boot me gently in my poetical posterior.

Cheers, Joan.
P.S. Anyone who knows about Open Mic opportunities within an evening's travelling distance of Fife, please give me a shout.

Islay - Part Three

2010-05-08T08:40:00.000-07:00

(All right, this is not a picture of the Islay Writing Circle. It's a picture of some picturesque Islay ponies. I just really liked them.)

I'd been looking forward to this workshop since the first day it was suggested, and I wasn't a bit disappointed. Getting to come to Islay again (I was one of the authors at the Islay Book Festival last autumn - if you ever get asked to do this one, say YES!) was an obvious plus, but then having a whole day instead of the usual hour, having 4 people instead of an entire class or two (or twelve), having participants who all wanted to be there - you just knew it was going to great! Add to that the rich variety of voices (actual and written) of us all, the good food, an inspirational view and a glorious day - I wax effusive because I can do no other. So, many thanks for having me go to the Islay Writing Circle - makers of Probably the Best Writing Workshop in the World!

Cheers, Joan.

Islay - Part Two

2010-05-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

The Islay Writing Circle tackling the Lunchbreak Writing Challenge head on. To find out more, visit Islay - Part Three!
(It's this strange thing with Picasa only letting me transfer 4 photos at a time that makes for all this Part One, Part Two nonsense. Never mind.)